We who loved each other so much
This is a story of friendship gone astray. It started when I was in college and I befriended a bunch of crazy guys who seemed to enjoy the same music and the same books I did. All through high school, I had been a complete loner. I had friends, that is right, but they didn't share my tastes. There was no one I could show my Lord of the Rings collection or listen Janis Joplin with. I used to wear Indian blouses (they are trendy again I hear), and my friends were very neatly dressed mall rats. Then in college, I found these guys whom I converted to Tolkien. One of them knew everything about rock and showed me stuff I had never heard before, like Lou Reed, Frank Zappa, The Clash. And we all loved movies. We would go to the movies every weekend. We would watch anything from Star Wars to a festival on an obscure Swiss director (yes, they make fims in Switzerland), and then we would spend hours talking about it over a round of beers.
Life can play some mean jokes on you sometimes. I got married to one of the boys. One of them moved far away. Another one left this world too soon. There was still another one who kept in touch with me for years, sometimes closer, sometimes far away. This particular guy was hard to grasp. Sometimes I thought he was just a jock, sometimes I thought he was cool. He would phone my work once in a while and tell me those outrageous stories, or simply to speak greek with my imagination (as he used to say). Or he would mail me (those were the pre e-mail days) cool things he had just read. He would disappear for ages and then pop out of the blue with flowers at the maternity ward when my eldest was born. That is when the mean joke comes in. When I separated from my ex, this one guy was supportive. I would say very supportive. I would even say hiper mega extra supportive. ;-) The thing is, I realized that I liked to play mind chess with him, read his books and listen to his stories. I liked the mistery, not the solution. I had to be blunt, harsh, almost brutal. And I hate that.
So as I told in the beginning, this is a story of friendship gone astray. It is his birthday today, and I don't even think about making a phone call. I am wishing him here all the best. Happy birthday, Cheshire Cat.
1 Comments:
Bill and I were just talking about this very thing. Some friendships just run their course and they're gone. My very best, most special friend from high school is no where to be found. I look back and don't even know how we lost touch. From 7th through 12th grade, we were absolutely inseperable. Time and distance take their toll on relationships of all kinds.
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