Ruthless people
This is just a vent. It cannot be possibly classy. So feel free to stop reading now.
My eikel of an ex-husband had disappeared in thin air for three months. He still kept the kids every other weekend, and called them daily, it is true, but I had no chance to talk to him about things that have been going on with them, and even things that have been going on with us, like our removal. To be absolutely truthful, I have to say that I managed to find him home the day my grandmother died and told him of my plans, which included renting our apartment so my kids and I could get an extra income and breath.
Yesterday, he came out of the blue and called me twice. First to say that he was surprised at the fact that son #2 was having problems in school. But second and more important apparently, he wanted to talk about his favorite topic, that is money. He had heard the kids talk about our plans, the construction. And he decided that it wouldn't be fair if I got the whole rental, since he also owns part of the apartment. That was the gist of the conversation in which he tried to prove that I lead a lavish existence, which is proven by the fact that I am doing an university program and renewing my grandma's apartment. Why are you painting it? , he asked. It looked good. Why do adaptations for the kids if you can simply move and camp there. He wants to sit and see my expenses. I shouldn't need the rental, he believes.
I got quite upset at this intrusion, specially because he doesn't acknowledge the need of tutoring for the kids and the need of them learning English, both demands that I have assumed entirely through my own means. The need of clothes and shoes for six growing feet is also virtually ignored. Moreover, he stopped giving support to the house in January, since the summer months are really slow for him. He will compensate that, he says. And I believe that he will. In his own sweet time. Last year, he managed to make things right with me by August.
I have only one thing in my favour in those telephone or person to person debates. For some unknown reason, my ex husband is much more afraid of me than I am of him. He starts the conversation a note too high, almost violently, and when he does that I know this is his defensive mood and that it is time to use cold logic to demolish his argumentation. Usually, like yesterday, I can make him back away into silence and broken sentences. It doesn't mean that I won the argument. There are too many people around him telling that I come from a family of comfortable means and that he doesn't have to "help" us as much. It will eventually re-fuel his indignation. I have been through this many times, and it makes me unspeakingly sad. I realize that he is weak. And I remained married to this weak guy for 14 years, enough in love to have three kids with him.
Well, I warned you that this was not a beautiful post.
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