Lost in Translation
Last Saturday, in the university, we spend the day studying Asia. In the afternoon, the professor showed a movie, "Anna and the King of Siam", with Jodie Foster, the classical story of the British governess who goes to Thailand in the 19th centory to teach English and Western culture to the King's children and wives. We were to observe two things. First, the difficulties the characters have to deal with each other cultural differences. Second, the difficulties even present day Hollywood has to deal with cultural differences without turning them into something exotic or stereotyped. There is a wonderful palestin writer called Eduard Said who shows that even when some film makers are filled with good intentions they still have a hard time avoiding pre-conceived ideas.
Now cultural differences are tough to deal with. You see Asia, Africa and you know it from the start that people who come from this part of the world have totally different heritages. What I come to realize too, it is that sometimes it is as tough to deal with cultural differences when they seem to be smaller. Things look familiar but they are not quite exactly the same. These days, our prime time soap opera deals with Brazilians immigrants in the United States. One of the toughest things they face is exactly those subtle cultural differences.
I am not trying to judge what is better or worse. I can tell you just what I see with my Brazilian eyes. Some of those who change countries complain about the apparent coldness of the Americans, their individualism. It comes from the fact that here we tend to act more collectively. For instance, on fridays, the newsroom gathers and have big lunches. Sometimes, one or two of us have still things to do before lunch. The whole team will wait for them before even deciding where we are going for lunch. Then deciding which place we are going will take a long time. One is on a diet. The other one doesn't like barbecue. Another one wants to spend less. Other has to be back early. We will only go out after we find a solution that satifies everybody. If I lose my patience and leave on my own, I will be considered rude.
Another good reason for Brazilians to think Americans are cold is probably the different ways we deal with privacy. If the group is considered so much important than the individual, its members feel inclined to share a lot of their own personal issues and ask questions about others. This is not considered invasive. The lack of questions could be interpreted as lack of interest. I never forget the one time I was introduced to girl during lunch with a common friend. Five minutes later, I was listening horrified to a story about very delicate aspects of her relationships. I could never do something like that, bc here I am considered a privacy freak (something not very far from being rude). Public (and sometimes loud) demonstrations of joy, grief, sadness, enthusiasm are not considered tasteless, but a sign of authenticity to one's feelings. I am not much into that but I have to confess that in 14 years I have cried three times in my boss's office, two of them with him too. And I am sure that this didn't turn me into a unbalanced nervous wreck in his eyes.;-)
One more thing that calls my attention is the difference we give to the weight of words. If I say something here like "come to my home any time", I really should expect the other person to come to my home any time. If I call someone "my friend", it is almost like a pact. I mean that I will defend this one person in case of need and that should not change even in case of shaken relations. When a friend does help in these times, we don't usually thank him/her, for it is understated that we know that he/she is doing exactly what I would do for him/her, since we are friends. So we might look sometimes ungrateful to people who are not used to our ways. If I say "I love you", gosh, that is serious. We use the word "love" very sparingly here, basically for family members and lovers. It took me a while to understand that in English this one word may have different meanings, intensities and intentions, all lost in translation.
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