Blueberry muffins and saudades
It is a cloudy Sunday, with not too much light. The kind of day that looks like dusk from the moment you wake up. I opened my eyes this morning to find saudades consuming my heart. In Portuguese we have this word, saudades, which doesn't find an equivalent in any other language but Arabic. Saudades is what I feel today. It is the feeling of being dislocated in time and space from the people you love. It is more than homesickness, which is the longing for a place. It is more than nostalgia, which is the longing for a lost time. Maybe I could say simply that I miss my friends, but to a mind born and raised in Portuguese, this somehow seems too little. I've got saudades. It is the feeling that made the Portuguese sailors sing in their exile and give birth to the fado, the saddest type of music I know. Saudades doesn't feel it is enough to talk to the ones I miss on the phone. Saudades doesn't take new technologies into consideration. Saudades disregards chat and e-mail. Saudades requires holding and touching to be dissolved.
So I am battling saudades by baking blueberry muffins, one for each distant friend. It is a foreign recipe, made out of a foreign fruit so unusual here that it doesn't have a word to translate it either. Saudades and blueberries go together like horse and carriage.
3 Comments:
Hello Madam, you haven't been updating for a while I was wondering where you went. Anyways, I am glad that you've found a brief antidote for your bout with saudades...
I know quite a number of women who bake to cheer themselves up! I am unfortunate enough to be useless in the kitchen.
owh... then I used to have saudades when I was away in boarding school...
and right about now.... I miss everything when I'm alone... I miss my family, friends and just the feeling of belong... I don't belong to surf in this cyber cafe... I should pamper those I love and be pampered back...
does that equal to what you're feeling... sorry, I'm not good at comparison...
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