Bad
Do you know the day that comes when you realize some of your pet plans will not come through? Do you know that kind of mean disposition that takes charge of you when you see those neatly designed dreams going down the drain? Do you know that sour taste in your mouth when you perceive that treating other decently will not garantee that you will be treated with the same consideration, or that the rules you try to follow so closely with others will not be respected when they are dealing with you? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you know exactly the kind of day that I had today. Maybe I am nothing but an unruly brat after all, a spoiled urchin who threats a fit when things don't follow the rightful path. I wouldn't agree with that judgement of myself though. I think I usually have plenty of resilience in face of the twists and turns of life, the follies and nonsense of people that sometimes call themselves my friends. The problem today is that I am sadly out of patience.
This won't last. I have so much to do that I will soon try to find a way to change this lemons into a lemon pie. I have done that before, and I will do that again. Today is just the "sit and wonder why", the hangover. My friend Sofia says that all has been made worse by the fact that I am still nursing post-trip blues, and she is probably right. Most of the time, I am terminally optimistic. That is my default mode. But today I was quite snappy and that didn't feel that bad either. I left no remark go unanswered, I had no stomach for diplomacy, no tact left. It was healthy for me not to keep so much imprisoned inside me for a change.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home