Sad
I am sad. It is a sadness that unwinds like a yarn that guides me through the dungeons and labyrinths of my heart. A quiet feeling, a drizzle not a storm, a cup that runs over with a drink that a careless waiter still pours. A pain without name or figure or reason or rhyme. I am sad because it is time, it is midnight and I have no crystal slipper, no pumpkin carriage, not even an invitation for the ball. I am sad because I have no shapely long legs, no wide eyes bright with innocence, no sincere surprises to offer. My soul is old and predictable, heavy as a boulder, and cold. I am sad because I have no more dreams to choose from, no longings, no wishes to make as the candles are blown. I came in too late to listen to my own song, and now the bandstand is empty. The musicians have gone home. I was offered an exquisite feast of foie gras and truffles when all I really wanted was a plain meal cooked by my mom. I looked for a simple fire not giddiness, rapture nor overwhelming desire, and now I am tired, I am tired. I am sad because of the letters that I will not write, because of the sleep that I will not lose, because of the thrills that I will not miss. Hope became too abstract a concept. And I am sad.
2 Comments:
i think i now how u're feeling right now...though i believe a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders but i cant take away this feeling of utter lost.
hey, please don't be sad...
I have enough sad people around me and at the end of the day, I will end up thinking about my life and my sadness and I end up crying and I'm trying to avoid that...
but I think you'll always have dreams to choose from...
despite que sera sera, we will always have options in life, regardless how old we are, its up to us to make life interesting...
and hey, you can see it in raising your kids...
wishing you the best of luck to be happy again... please...
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