Mothers, Lovers, Sisters and Brothers
These days, I have been thinking a lot about love. It dawned on me that maybe the sole reason we come to this world is to learn about love and how to exercise it. Maybe motherly love is the first and most obvious kind since most of us exposed to it from birth. Later in life, we are given a chance to exercise it, not necessarily only with our own kids. The way I see it, it is not even a genre issue. I believe there are men who love their kids in a motherly way. I believe there are teachers who love their task so much that it can only be described as a motherly kind of love, though their affection might not be attached particularly to certain names.
Romantic love, passion, seem to be pretty obvious too. And complicated, to say the least. Sometimes it comes with so many demands of ownership, with dos and don'ts, and of course, desire thrown in just to make things even more explosive and fragile. We were socially taught to believe that romantic love would heal all the wounds of our souls, that it is enough for itself, and sometimes our expectations are not met. Thankfully, there are many who forge lifelong bonds with their partners. These days, when so much license to please the senses and so much emphasis on the material world, it brings me real joy to see couples that are happily together for a long time.
Another kind of love we learn is the love for our siblings. We who are graced with them have the chance to learn from a tender age how to share, how to deal with competition, how no one is exactly like the other. Sometimes we develop deep, never to be solved, differences. It was more or less like that with me and my sister, though we didn't actually fight. The way we look at life is so diametrically different, that in time it sounded as if we both spoke very different languages, communication being a strain.
Now I found that I had another chance to experience sibling love in its glory. In a sense, friends are the family we choose. Though I have a very difficult time dealing with my sister, I managed to find someone I love as a sister in a far away part of the world, and who taught me I could be loved back uncondiotionally. It was such a relief and a joy, when I had realized I had been graced with that chance. It is a love that doesn't involve ownership, that just crave for the good of the other, and it comes with the joy of cumplicity too. I was to be doubly blessed. I met someone I learn to love like a brother, and that has been entirely new to me. So far I had been wary of friendships between man and woman. I always thought they were possible, and true, but had my doubts about the level of intimacy and companionship possible. Wouldn't sex tension be always a complication factor? Wouldn't it tend to become something else? I had my good number of male friends, some of which became relationships in time. But I repeat, I was blessed with the chance of having a friend who taught me how to love a brother, someone who is totally different from myself, as beans to rice, with whom I have skirmishes and moments of complete sympathy, arguments and support, irritation and consideration.. And I can only wish from the bottom of my heart good things to him, like finding all the aforementioned kinds of love, and being obscenely happy.
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